absolutely stunning. as a bi woman who is done dating men i always pre-emptively wince when i see The Document cited because of how much damage i do think the re-definition of comphet has done those online circles - but this was careful, thoughtful, and laced through with a compassion and love for women that i feel so often is bewilderingly absent in "sapphic" essays (from both sides of the aisle). your joy and comfort is contagious. 💘
Literally told myself I can’t be a lesbian because I find men aesthetically attractive sometimes but they don’t move me emotionally, romantically or physically…the mental gymnastics are just ridiculous (also gonna re-read this over and over, thank you 🙏🏾)
As a recently realized late-in-life lesbian (not really i’m only 23), this essay brought me to tears. The online lesbian community can be so polarizing that you can find yourself lost among the discourse; somewhere searching for at least one person to validate the untrodden path you’re on. This is that post for me. There’s so much that I resonate with here and I’m really at a loss for words to quantify ~how~ important this post is. Thank you for approaching it with the care and nuance it deserves, you have a phenomenal way with words.
god, thank you so much for this. i felt myself resonating with most of this piece soooooo so deeply. i read multiple parts of it out loud to my girlfriend just because i needed to HEAR the words too! i wish i could print this out and tape it to my forehead. holy moly
wow, this means so much to me. i’m so glad to hear that the same thing urging me to read this aloud to my friends while i edited has also taken root in others. i hope you’ll find more valuable things in my writing moving forward and am glad i could be in your algorithm
I really appreciate the takes here. I have had to deal with some opinions from other people on my sexuality because I am currently dating someone non-binary/transfemme and some people invalidate my lesbianism by being TERF-y. It almost made me think "Oh no, maybe I'm not gay!" and invalidate what I already knew to be true. I like women! I am very confident in my lesbianism and I always have been since I was a teenager.
There is very careful thought put into this essay and a lot of empathy in how to be comfortable with yourself while trying to figure it out! Thank you so much for writing this!
Beautifully written! It brought back memories of me at 20 freshly starting my Mormon marriage and sobbing because sex felt so unfulfilling. Your insights align very closely with my experience of coming out as a lesbian. Thank you for sharing! It brings me comfort knowing I’m not alone in this!!
as someone who also came into lesbianism later-in-life after a brief stint with bisexuality, i relate to so much of this so deeply and feel so seen. the way you describe your relationship gives me so much hope for my own future. grateful for your time & care in putting this into words. thank you thank you thank you!
this is absolutely beautiful. i'm bisexual and have only dated men, dated the same one for 7 years, and midway through had a massive OCD spiral in part triggered by the lesbian masterdoc because i knew that if i had that moment of realisation it would upend my entire life. i'm single now and still working things out, still find myself enamoured with men and am no longer scared of that moment where the penny drops, but the way you articulate finding your 'yes' made me pause and stare into the distance for a good ten minutes. maybe one day i'll find my yes and it'll change my life. maybe i won't and i'll be just as happy with a man. but i feel like the more you try to interrogate it or force an answer the more confused you will become. just loved this so much, thank you for writing it <3
the sambas metaphor hit extremely close to home. in 2019, i injured my ankle pretty badly and, to this day, it hurts to wear converse’s—my go-to shoe prior to the incident. while i recovered, i had the same epiphany as you but upside down: i thought i was a lesbian, turns out i am bisexual. and even though i never got the courage to donate my old sneakers, wearing them is not an option anymore. now, i just observe them once in a while, like a framed picture on my wall.
absolutely stunning. as a bi woman who is done dating men i always pre-emptively wince when i see The Document cited because of how much damage i do think the re-definition of comphet has done those online circles - but this was careful, thoughtful, and laced through with a compassion and love for women that i feel so often is bewilderingly absent in "sapphic" essays (from both sides of the aisle). your joy and comfort is contagious. 💘
omg this is my favorite comment i’ve ever gotten. this was my goal. thank you.
Literally told myself I can’t be a lesbian because I find men aesthetically attractive sometimes but they don’t move me emotionally, romantically or physically…the mental gymnastics are just ridiculous (also gonna re-read this over and over, thank you 🙏🏾)
thank YOU. i really wish i could describe to you (and anyone else who reads my work) how deeply i feel about your response. so much care to you
I love being a lesbian and I love reading about other lesbians' love of their own lesbianism. This was a treat to read. I am so happy for you <3
awww 🤍🤍🤍🦷 thank u
As a recently realized late-in-life lesbian (not really i’m only 23), this essay brought me to tears. The online lesbian community can be so polarizing that you can find yourself lost among the discourse; somewhere searching for at least one person to validate the untrodden path you’re on. This is that post for me. There’s so much that I resonate with here and I’m really at a loss for words to quantify ~how~ important this post is. Thank you for approaching it with the care and nuance it deserves, you have a phenomenal way with words.
this is beautiful. thank you. thank you a million times
everybody that’s questioning needs to watch buttons by pussy cat dolls
god, thank you so much for this. i felt myself resonating with most of this piece soooooo so deeply. i read multiple parts of it out loud to my girlfriend just because i needed to HEAR the words too! i wish i could print this out and tape it to my forehead. holy moly
wow, this means so much to me. i’m so glad to hear that the same thing urging me to read this aloud to my friends while i edited has also taken root in others. i hope you’ll find more valuable things in my writing moving forward and am glad i could be in your algorithm
this is such a great read. i love reading other lesbians’ journeys with their sexualities. thank you for sharing <3
you’re welcome 🦷🤍 thank YOU for being here
I really appreciate the takes here. I have had to deal with some opinions from other people on my sexuality because I am currently dating someone non-binary/transfemme and some people invalidate my lesbianism by being TERF-y. It almost made me think "Oh no, maybe I'm not gay!" and invalidate what I already knew to be true. I like women! I am very confident in my lesbianism and I always have been since I was a teenager.
There is very careful thought put into this essay and a lot of empathy in how to be comfortable with yourself while trying to figure it out! Thank you so much for writing this!
you are a lesbian haha. don’t listen to anyone. 🩷
Beautiful.
thank u mommyyyy
I love you. ❤️
really good read. you're funny without sacrificing sincerity and writing quality. I'm very jealous!
you’re so sweet bc i’m so jealous of you let’s just settle on proof reading 😌😌😌
done :D
Beautifully written! It brought back memories of me at 20 freshly starting my Mormon marriage and sobbing because sex felt so unfulfilling. Your insights align very closely with my experience of coming out as a lesbian. Thank you for sharing! It brings me comfort knowing I’m not alone in this!!
ugh. thank u for being here
Thanks so much
🩷
as someone who also came into lesbianism later-in-life after a brief stint with bisexuality, i relate to so much of this so deeply and feel so seen. the way you describe your relationship gives me so much hope for my own future. grateful for your time & care in putting this into words. thank you thank you thank you!
this is absolutely beautiful. i'm bisexual and have only dated men, dated the same one for 7 years, and midway through had a massive OCD spiral in part triggered by the lesbian masterdoc because i knew that if i had that moment of realisation it would upend my entire life. i'm single now and still working things out, still find myself enamoured with men and am no longer scared of that moment where the penny drops, but the way you articulate finding your 'yes' made me pause and stare into the distance for a good ten minutes. maybe one day i'll find my yes and it'll change my life. maybe i won't and i'll be just as happy with a man. but i feel like the more you try to interrogate it or force an answer the more confused you will become. just loved this so much, thank you for writing it <3
the sambas metaphor hit extremely close to home. in 2019, i injured my ankle pretty badly and, to this day, it hurts to wear converse’s—my go-to shoe prior to the incident. while i recovered, i had the same epiphany as you but upside down: i thought i was a lesbian, turns out i am bisexual. and even though i never got the courage to donate my old sneakers, wearing them is not an option anymore. now, i just observe them once in a while, like a framed picture on my wall.
Thank You