21 Comments
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Hunty's avatar

God every woman 16-25 needs to read this. Dating as a woman, you tolerate and even appreciate learning about the desolate inner worlds of men. In relationships, you finally finally get to hear men talk about their feelings after knowing nothing about feelings of your father or male classmates for so long. You feel so special seeing men be vulnerable up close and personal that it's hard to see *what it is they are actually saying*, which to your point, is often horrible! Selfish! Thinly-veiled misogyny! Even if you do realize what they're saying, you deny it because well surely you're not stupid enough to date someone who believes xyz. You'll rationalize it until you get what they're calling "the ick." Bless the ick!! Even when girls complain about petty reasons of getting the ick, I feel it's often a cover (subconsciously or not) for legitimate gut feelings that things aren't meant to be. Thanks for this piece. It makes me want to give my younger self a hug.

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Drosera's avatar

more women need to understand this tbh. i also don't think there's anything novel about male yearning, romances written by women are full of such tropes. i feel like what's more needed is media where even women actively pursue healthy relationships and make cute gestures instead of being shown as passive receivers of romance or lust

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Strawberi's avatar

“even the kindest most poetic man might get a boner when you cry.”

DISGUSTANG🤢

…But true 😞

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Rosie Pringle's avatar

Girl I got married to a man who proposed to me when I was sobbing about my shitty family. He is now my ex husband.

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anuhea's avatar

you were so manic pixie dream in that moment for having three dimensional struggles he couldn’t help himself ☺️☺️/j (i hope you’re doing well)

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Rosie Pringle's avatar

the awkward moments when everyone asked how he proposed... it's long enough ago (8 years) now I can laugh about it

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Kaothar Kadir's avatar

This is just fantastic

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anuhea's avatar

omg 🥹🥹🥹 thank u

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Bri Wheeler's avatar

this is incredibly iconic thank u for writing friend

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anuhea's avatar

🧡🧡🧡🧡

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Chris Yadav's avatar

I agree lol... The pinterestism effect where men are turned into stereotypes, either this or that, is harmful for both men and women, for men it is trying to be something they aren't, whether its the alpha male self or the soft naive vulnerable self.... For females cause they are never going to find a one dimensional man.... Exceptional use of words, good job

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pema's avatar

they think that acknowledging that we want to be understood is enough, and means that they don’t have to actually try to understand us

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Soular's avatar

I get hung up on “male archetypes” or “blueprints” or “what’s my vibe/type” a lot.

Thank you for helping me realize that I don’t wanna be like Colin or like Jacob or “like” anybody.

Thanks for reminding me that I want to be me.

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Moody B's avatar

Make them YEARN

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Lex's avatar

This is fucking fantastic 🙏🙏🙏🙏

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Bri Wheeler's avatar

obsessed w the graphic

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Sam's avatar

liked, saved, restocked—will be reading later. can tell it’s a classic from the thumbnail alone 😭

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Phayvanh Luekhamhan 🍸's avatar

Part 2 of Bridgerton is where Colin’s mask falls off, his false swagger was a way of keeping his vulnerability at a distance, which Pen brings out. Thinking out loud, not defending. Appreciate this take.

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Christián's avatar

Incredible piece! Hilarious and perfectly written. 🔥

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Cami, the Author's avatar

Love this.

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